There five key reasons why this is happening. Only by understanding the reasons why Endometriosis Pain victims feel guilty.
NEGLECTING FAMILIES AND FRIENDS: I can’t be there for my friends. This is the harsh gist of it. Visiting is hard, because planning is challenging. So is travel ling. I simply can’t predict how I’ll be feeling at any given time on any given day. My friends understand, and those who couldn’t make allowances, were never real friends in the first place. This experience has sorted out my friends from my acquaintances quite nicely. Besides, I’ve turned into that unreliable friend who regularly cancels on you at the last minute myself, so it’d be a bit rich of me if I were to start complaining. When I do manage to meet my friends, there’s the risk that my illness will eclipse his or her needs. It’s a precarious balance. It takes a lot of mental stamina to push aside the feelings of Endometriosis Pain -fatigue to focus on somebody else.
This goes out to all mums with Endometriosis Pain out there at this place: I don’t have children, but the acknowledgement to my last blog devastating showed that those of you who’ve been lucky enough to get pregnant and bear children are now struggling to bring them up. How can you priorities your needs if you feel, as you naturally would, that your children need your attention more? How can you look after somebody else if you can’t look after yourself? And how can you match up to all other mums if you simply can’t keep up with them? How does it make you feel? Exasperated? Like a failure? Exhausted? Downhearted? Guilty?
THINGS YOU DIDN’T DO: Regrets about not having tried for a family earlier are hard to overcome.
“I shouldn’t have left it so late.”
“I should have tried for children earlier on in my life.”
“What if I’ve missed out on my chance of being a mum?”
When we don’t doubt our health, we take things for granted. The ‘what if’ game is tough for women with Endometriosis Pain. The guilt that comes from the realization that you’ve potentially played Russian roulette with your life and your fertility is hard to bear. The fact that you’re only human is of little consolation. The challenge is to learn to accept it.
There are key reasons why this is happening. Only by understanding the reasons why Endometriosis Pain victims feel guilty.
COMPARING YOURSELF TO THOSE WHO ARE WORSE OFF: I felt guilty for having written those words, because Endometriosis Pain is not potentially terminal in the way that cancer is. I know that, although, I recognize that women with endometriosis ‘rub shoulders’, so to speak, with the dreaded disease. An online source claims: Women with Endometriosis Pain have an increased risk for development of certain types of cancer of the ovary, known as epithelial ovarian cancer (EOC), according to some research studies.Rather, the dismissive comments of others and their attempts to downplay my suffering made me feel defensive forcing me to retort with these comments.This misunderstood side to Endometriosis Pain and the daily battles that, we, its sufferers have to fight, are the primary reason why more awareness of the disease is so urgently and desperately needed.
IMPACT ON WORK LIFE : My employer, with whom I have a permanent contract of employment, is contractually obliged to support me through a period of illness financially and by adjusting my working environment. So why do I feel guilty about not being able to work with Endometriosis Pain? When feeling sufficiently well, I’m a good worker. And yet, when occupational health got involved, a part of me felt guilty as if I’d done something naughty. Or as if I was making it up. It’s just that I wasn’t.Too hasty return to work, left me open to attacks on my attitude, because I found it hard to focus and be productive in the way I’d been in the past. I was trying, but because I looked fine, nobody could see the toll that the severe Endometriosis Pain , Endo-fatigue and despair depression had on me and my ability to work.
COMPARING YOURSELF TO THOSE WHO ARE BETTER OFF:Resentment is a powerful negative emotion and is closely associated with the feeling of injustice.
“How dare you tell me not to worry? You don’t know what I’m going through.”
“Easy for you to talk, you’re not the one who’s got to live with chronic Endometriosis Pain.”
Such comments, more often than not made through ignorance or frustration rather than ill-wishing, cause hurt and can even lead to open hostility to ‘outsiders’, the uninitiated, who are not ill, and who don’t understand the condition.If these things are said by your sisters, brothers, husbands or friends, the resulting sorrow and anger can create real chasms between you and your loved ones. This is the very last thing you need, at the time when you’re already feeling down and vulnerable.