When you have endometriosis, your life changes.Why should I feel guilty about something I can’t control? That’s what part of my mind says. But the part that actually controls my feelings completely overrides that. This is in part due to experiences I’ve had that have made me feel guilty, whether the feelings were actually warranted or not. Individuals with chronic illnesses shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about their conditions. There was nothing they could do to prevent it. Women with endometriosis shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for having this unpreventable disease.
We are made to feel guilty for being in pain.
When I was diagnosed with endometriosis, my primary care physician (PCP) willingly took charge of my pain management regimen because she knows enough about endometriosis to understand it can be a very painful condition. But then there was a week earlier this year when everything got messed up. For reasons I still don’t know, my doctor never got the message that I needed a refill on my medication. It took two more days and speaking to three more people to get the message to my physician that at this point, I was completely out of pain medication (I had even put the request in early to prevent this). My pain skyrocketed almost to the point of requiring a visit to the emergency room.
We are made to feel guilty by trying to rest.
You can’t do what you used to be able to do in some cases. In my case, being able to work through my symptoms became a challenge fairly quickly. When my endo was at its worst two years ago prior to my excision surgery, I was practically bedridden. If I wasn’t at work, I was at home in bed, curled up with my heating pad. Strangely enough, if I was at work, I was also curled up on a chair…with my heating pad.
We are made to feel guilty when we deny intimacy.
I will start by saying that my wonderful husband has never, ever pressured me and would immediately stop in concern if it was too painful for me. But the first four years of our marriage were severely lacking in intimacy due to the endometriosis (which we didn’t know about at the time). I felt like a horrible wife for not being able to perform this act of love with the man I love.