Things About Early Miscarriage
1. You almost certainly did not cause the Early miscarriage: “You need to remember that there are women all around the world who are firefighters, drug addicts or working for the Taliban who have no issues with their pregnancies whatsoever,” says Dr Kowalski. The simple truth of the matter is that the vast majority of miscarriages occur due to either embryonic abnormalities or implantation problems – two things you have absolutely no influence over.
3. Medical professionals can have a (shocking) way with words: One minute my babies had names and futures, and the next they were being referred to by my then-obstetrician as ‘conception waste’ or ‘product of conception’ – a way of speaking which only served to further traumatise me.
4. When it comes to grief, everything is normal:Just as the physical process of Early miscarriage varies between women, so too does the emotional. Some may leave hospital and try to pretend it never happened, others may name their babies and hold a funeral service. Me? I liked to punch pillows and glare at happy mothers walking past with their equally happy babies as I angrily prayed for the sun to drown us all. Each of these reactions (plus every other one you can think of) is normal, says Dr Kowalski. “Anger, grief, hopelessness and denial are all common feelings, but what’s important is that no matter which one it is you’re feeling, that you are being supported by a loved one.”
5. You can make changes to help influence the outcome next time:When it came time to try for my now-three-year-old Ivy, I left Dr ‘Conception waste’ and found an obstetrician who was willing to take my concerns (and high levels of anxiety) seriously – and you should too. “A good obstetrician will monitor you closely, whether it’s checking the baby’s heartbeat each week, or prescribing medication that can help decrease your chance of a Early miscarriage – particularly in high-risk pregnancies,” says Dr Kowalski, who adds that you should request the same kind of support at home.
6. And lastly, you will never be the same person again:The most vivid conversation I had with my grief counselor was when she hugged me and told me to also take the time to grieve for the person I once was. “You’ll never be the same person again,” she told me as I cried all over her shoulder. “A version of, yes, but the same? Never.”